she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
True strength comes from lack of pants
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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