I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
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That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
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He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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