well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
