i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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