we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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