I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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