Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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