I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
