the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
