Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Randomize
