And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
