The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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