you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
