somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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