i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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