He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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