After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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