You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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