clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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