the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
