Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
