he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
only if we run a train.
done.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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