she is the kim kardashian of front butts
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
