You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
