At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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