A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
