After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
