I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
