when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
