His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
