she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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