Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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