I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize