Christians are straight up FREAKS
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
