so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
