you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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