One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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