Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize