This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
