We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
