Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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