I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I should be a condom model.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize