dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
