I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
