You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
