Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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