I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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