i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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