found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
