just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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