I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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