I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
