When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
