I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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