Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
