they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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